Aries in relationship

This month is about the best way to relate from an Aries point of view (Venus less than 2 degrees from Sun and Moon, and sextile the North Node). The Aries style of relating is direct, with the courage to be honest regardless of the consequences. Aries honesty tends to arrive without consideration - ‘in your face’. The person delivering it may have no idea how it comes across to people who express themselves differently, and they may simply wonder why other people pussyfoot around so much – ‘what’s all this walking on eggshells to avoid hurting someone?’ They have a point. We don’t really know what will hurt someone else, and the truth is a quick way to clear up misunderstandings. The problem is that, in the heat of the moment, Aries often pays no attention to the way they deliver the truth. Also they can forget that it’s their truth, and may not necessarily be the same as yours.

Reality-checking close friends and family

Venus in Aries is retrograde until 16 April, and so what comes up this month is likely to be the unresolved history of our relationships. Decisions made about the people we know tend to remain fixed to our image of them, bringing up the same old hurt, shock, resentment, that caused us to flinch away at some vulnerable past moment. Venus is reminding us of the love at the centre of those relationships, so that we let go of the old ‘stuff’ and see the person for who they are now (Moon’s Nodes, from Leo to Aquarius).

We all need to be accepted as we are now, because relating is something one can only do in the present moment. If I am still blaming someone for an experience way back in the past, I am preventing myself from really relating to them now, which blocks them from relating to me. All attempts to make it look like relating are like shadows - there is very little, if any, real-time contact. Sadly, this is so often how we live, in a mirage of close partnership or marriage, relating to each other as we think the other was, rather than how they really are now.

Give each other freedom

During April, Venus will appear as the bright Morning Star, rising in the soft dawn light just before the Sun, slightly earlier each day. From 11 to 23 April, she will be back in sensitive Pisces, adding a touch of romance perhaps, and prompting us to empathise with each other a little more.

Venus will also be fairly slow moving to stationary for most of this month, holding a position square to Pluto. We will find ourselves focusing on those areas where we refuse to change for fear of losing the ones we love/need/want to own! The most painful side of transformation is when life has to peel our fingers back one by one because we are holding on so tightly. The tighter we hang on, the more painful it is. The obvious advice is to hold what you love in the open palm of your heart’s hand, being prepared to let go if that’s what the time demands. We keep the heart open by appreciating the moment by moment experiences of the day. That way, what belongs in your life can reassert itself, and what is no longer helpful can leave.

. . . one more thing

We all have the capacity to feel the traditional Aries impatience. So we could all do with remembering that we only feel impatient when we are living in the future. And nothing happens in the future – ever! It only happens now, where life is. So impatience is the process of rejecting life itself, a habit that can make our days feel empty of meaning, and lifeless. So, when Aries gets impatient, it’s a sign that it’s time to get back in the body and accept that what’s happening is what’s really happening. The best action, when faced with impatience, is to focus on the wealth of sense data all around, get into the experience. Notice honestly how you are feeling – any emotion can only be felt in the present moment, and knowing what emotion is flowing through your space right now connects you with your life force.

Have you ever noticed that rushing to get somewhere, life is often not quite ready for your arrival, and you have to wait? Mars is in Pisces most of this month, so the energy is not about achieving, but rather being sensitive to what is the next appropriate move.

Aries is a beginner, and at the beginning of anything we are bright and awake, noticing and learning. This will be a good month (as all months are!) to practice being present.